Suicide Mission Gone Awry
by Unipotato
Summary: One-Shot. They A/N says it all. Rated T for suicide references.


**A/N: So my friend has been going through some rough times, she has considered suicide in the past, and I'm afraid the past is resurfacing. So I was watching ****_Always_**** today and i started to wonder about Beckett's actual reaction to their fight, and then I thought about a story line where she considered suicide. This is pretty AU, but whatever, please R/R and follow and fave.**

**Even though my aforementioned friend isn't on FanFiction i would just like to put it out there and tell her how much she is loved and cared about, and that I'm always here for her.**

* * *

"Well, I guess there's nothing I can say, is there?" Castle stated trying to force the emotion out of his voice with a colder tone, but failed miserably. "Ok, uhm... Yeah, you're right Kate, it's your life. You can throw it away if you want, but I'm not going to stick around and watch you. So this is, ah... Over. I'm done." She gave him a withering look, as if to say, _I didn't think it would go this far_. He paid no attention to the strained look, and turned, heading for her door. As he touched the cold, brass knob with one hand, he felt a soft, warm, smaller hand take his unoccupied one. "I said I was done." he shot over his shoulder, as her ripped his hand from hers and stepped across the threshold of the now opened door and walked away.

As soon as he stepped into the elevator, barley making any eye contact with her, the floodgates succumbed to the pressure that had been building up the whole argument, and the tears started to fall against her will. She slammed the door and slid down to the floor against the cold metal. She sat on there, slowly letting her sobs become harsher and harsher, until it burned to breathe and her face felt raw. After she hit that checkpoint of pain, she kept her tears at a steady rate. She began thinking... she then hoisted herself off of the floor, and strode over to her safe which held her 40 caliber pistol, among other meaningful items.

_It could be so much easier, _she thought, eyes glued to the piece of metal she was twirling around in her hands. _Would anyone miss me? Well, Lanie, Dad, Espo, Ryan. I'm sure Gates would care. Martha? Alexis? Ca-... no, no... I can't, he wouldn't care, he said so, maybe i should follow his words. Throw my life away if I want to, but do I want this, do i want to just give up everything that I've worked for and become?_ She continued to fiddle with the gun, carefully picking out the pros and cons of taking her own life.

Her racing thoughts were interrupted when a pounding knock on her door startled her. Without having a care in the world that someone dangerous could be standing of the other side, wanting to kill her (she was going to do it herself anyway... wasn't she?), she swung it open and once she took in the broad figure in front of her, her breath caught in her throat. "C-Ca-Castle?" she basically pleaded, shaking her head at each stutter.

"I left my sunglasses-" he pointed at his sunglasses on the coffee table to finish the rest of his sentence. Castle pushed past her and walked over, swiftly picking them up and pushing past her again. He stopped right in front of the door, after catching a glimpse of the gun in Beckett's hand. "Wh- Why do you have your gun out?" his tone was calm, yet a part of it held his anger from earlier.

"I. I uh. Well." she slowly said, trying to find the right words to tell him that he was the reason she was about to kill herself. He lifted his hand from his side and touched it to her chin to pull her eyes to meet his. She quietly obliged and took a deep breath. "I thought you hated me."

"Kind of did." Beckett drew a sharp breath at his comment. She glanced down at her right hand, the one holding the gun, and carefully moved it to point into her side. "Kate," he said, watching her shaking hand as she placed her pointer over the trigger, "Okay, Kate, give me the gun." she shook her head vigorously. "Please?" she moved her head to look into his eyes, and saw the hurt and concern boiling over into them.

"Fine." he breathed a sigh of relief and took the gun from her hands, and he quickly disposed of it and kicked into the corner of the room.

"You were going to so that? Be-because you thought I hated you?"

"You just said you did!" she screamed.

"Okay, Okay, I'm sorry but why would you do that? When you have so many people who love you."

"Because all of their love will never add up to how much I... I uh."

"Hate me? Despise me? Never want to see me again?"

"NO! How much I _love _you."

"Love me? You just said you hated me."

"No you said that, you asked if i hated you i said no. You said you hated me, only twenty minutes after telling me that you loved me." her tears were flowing again, "My emotions are screwed up, my head is spinning and all I want is for you to tell me the truth. From here on out." she completed in one rushed sentence.

"Only if you do the same." he extended his hand in her direction expecting for her to shake on it, but what she did next completely surprised him. She moved closer, like a flash of lightning, tackling him into the door, viciously shutting it. Her lips fused to his and moved against them. At first he was hesitant, wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do when he had just lied to her and she clearly wasn't in the right state of mind to make any of these dicisions.

But, then again, if he pushed her away, she would crawl over to the corner to retrieve her gun, and finish what he had interrupted. His choice was final and he wrapped one of his hands behind her back and the other rested in her hair, cradling her head. The kiss lost its electricity, and became slow and sensual. Once they pulled apart he stated, "I take that as a yes."

"Yeah." she hummed against his chest when her head resided, simply taking him in.

"Are you sure about this?" he questioned, figuring that after the kiss she was in more of a peaceful place of her mind.

"Yeah." she repeated a little more forceful, obviously regaining her composer.

"Okay then," they both started, "shall we?" she finished.

"We shall." he responded, slipping their fingers together and pulling her in the direction of the bedroom.

* * *

**A/N: Alright so here it is, I hope you liked it. As i said before please R/R.**

**Thanks,**

**Sarah**


End file.
